nut hugger
Pappa wants mamma naked
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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