Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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