woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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