do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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