The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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