Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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