her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
