Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
