We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
