Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
