She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
