I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
