i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
