Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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