Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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