our cab driver is having phone sex.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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