Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
