My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Randomize
