Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
