every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
