how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
