Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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