Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
