he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Where is the hickey?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
