Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
