She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
