Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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