been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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