Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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