do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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