actually, I'm a sock model
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
