Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
