....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
