STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
