You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
