He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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