we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
