I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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