Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
