note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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