Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
