He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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