just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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