i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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