On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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