there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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