ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
