there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
