she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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