i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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