its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
