Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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